Black Women Discuss Therapy | Black Women OWN the Conversation | Oprah Winfrey Network

Black Women Discuss Therapy | Black Women OWN the Conversation | Oprah Winfrey Network

Who’s been to therapy before? Who’s been to therapy
but actually hid it from your friends and family? Let me hear from you. So we lost our son. He was stillborn. And I was raised to be
strong and what happens in my house stays in my house. And there was just no examples
of women going to therapy. So I felt like I had to be able
to hide it and manage it myself without really letting
other people know that maybe I was weak,
or maybe needed help, or maybe didn’t pray enough. What made you finally
break through that, though? What made you finally
say, even though there may be lots of things
telling me don’t try it, I’m going to go ahead and try. Well, the hospital actually
suggested I go to therapy. And first, I was
like, no, I got it. I’m good. But then I realized I wasn’t
good and that I needed help and I needed to talk to
somebody who could understand. And that was kind
of the problem as well with having a stillborn. I didn’t know anyone else
that had suffered from that. So who do you share and
talk to when no one has said, hey, this happened to me? So what do you do? So I was like, OK, let
me go find somebody. And I found a group
outside of my community, where I wouldn’t
know anyone, to get help and try to find support. Interesting.
Thank you. Thank you. Brittany, talk about
that a little bit. Because I hear from
a lot of people that being a strong black
woman actually can be the cause of your struggle. Yeah, because it’s a lie. Yes, black women are strong. But the demand that we
be strong in the face of that kind of tragedy is a
completely inhumane demand. And we deserve better than that. And if it is true that we
teach people how to treat us– and sometimes you’ve got to be
a little vulnerable and say, I actually don’t
have it all together. Actually– actually, I’m a mess. And then what you find
out when you say that is that a whole lot of
sisters were struggling too. Nicole, what do you
hear when you hear that? Have you had any version
of that experience? I love therapy. I don’t think it makes
you weak to ask for help. I think if anything, it
means you are strong. I need somebody
with a perspective far from my friends, someone
who doesn’t have actual stakes in my life who cares about me,
who can listen to me every week and go, girl, you
are OK, and you will get to be better than you were. But talking about it helps. I’m a pretty vain person. I love to talk about myself. [LAUGHTER] I think I’m beautiful. Like, I’m very interesting. I love it. Yes, sis. But, like, your
friends can only hear so much about your problems. So I go to this nice
white lady named Mary, and she helps me so much. Wait, wait. Hold on a second. Because I hear from
a lot of people that therapy is for
rich white people. And two, I heard people say that
if I’m going to go to therapy, it needs to be a
black therapist. Sure.
I get that. I get that you want
to speak to someone who has your experience. But no experience is
truly that different. Like, there’s no
reason to suffer. There’s so many
ways to get help. Pain is overrated. Yes. It’s overrated. It truly is. And look– Oh, I’m sorry. No. It’s overrated, and it’s real. Right. We have a responsibility
to take care of ourselves by learning who we are. Our society has not given
us those tools up until now.

63 Replies to “Black Women Discuss Therapy | Black Women OWN the Conversation | Oprah Winfrey Network”

  1. When you are open about therapy, a lot of people just view it as you are weak. I see that I am strong enough to reflect on myself and be truthful so I can be the best version of me which gives me strength.

  2. There is alot of undiagnosed mental illness in our community from the past, our upbringing or just life and alot of times we ignore it only making things worse.

  3. Therapy is a wonderful thing and I never hid it from my family.I hate when people say I’m strong black women do not want to be strong all the time and it’s unfair to constantly put that on US!! #ILOVEGOINGFORMYCHECKUPS ?

  4. I've been in therapy a bazillion times! I love therapy. I go whenever I need it.

    I always encourage others to do the same.

  5. The black women @3:12 said black females or blacks period should get therapy from blacks with the same experience. Alot of black females are so FOCUSED on being BLACK instead of being focused on just being a human being and a Female.

  6. Happy that not only did I go, but at my second try, I was honest instead of protecting everyone with the whole "Keep it inside this house" thing. There was too much dysfunction and generational pain I was supposed to carry and be strong about as a Black Woman. I am also me, and a mother who wants to give her kids a new beginning without the toxic beliefs I had thought I had to abide by. Therapy helped. Alot

  7. I believe every single person no matter what age or what they have been through should go to therapy. Everyone has something that could be worked on. Its just good to learn about your brain and how to have healthy coping mechanisms

  8. Black Women y'all are Queens & Beautiful, Strong, Confident & A Overcomer. I really admire any of you who seek a Therapists. I also feel as Black men we've got to do better as well. Real Men do cry it's okay to Express how we feel. ???

  9. That’s the curse of that black girl strength that you women talking about. You need to listen to someone who doesn’t look like you. All people don’t want what’s between your legs. Some people are here to help

  10. The thumbnail is so unappealing! Hard, unbecoming, and offputting dispositions. Black women need to really work on this! The key to overcoming is accountability! Geesh! Bring back the times when black women were graceful, endearing, and appealing! ?

  11. My own quote: "Black people think that they can 'pray away' depression. You better pray … AND find yourself a psychiatrist. It literally saved … my … life."
    – Kamara Mikel

  12. Love when she said your friends can only talk about you only so much. You may need to talk to someone with a different way of thinking because your friends may not have the right answers.

  13. Every person you meet won't always have intentions of hurting you, therapy is a wonderful method to heal from trauma and unresolved issues.

  14. Also, finding out what your generational curses are is a look into who you are, who you were, and/or, what you could become or child become.

  15. You know what I am
    Sorry for even commenting y’all are on some other type stuff I can’t even have an opinion without it being picked
    Apart let
    Exit stage left because I ain’t for it!! Old and mature is the same dam word! Really that’s negative?! No ,
    You need to check yourself!

  16. Oh I any want gripe about traffic, air pollution the next best dish but I don’t think ?I about the what if I am into the knowing! figuring out things! Thoughts and emotions are fading like my car tree scent it was and now it ain’t! On to the next!

  17. “Inhumane demand”. Such a profound statement. We really expect too much of our fellow brothers and sisters…and of ourselves. Kindness, patience, and understanding is so necessary. Please, always be kind because you never know what someone else is going through.

  18. I’m so glad this series is on television. So important for our community to have these frank and open discussions. We can come together about how racism, police brutality, etc. affects us, but these other issues are rarely ever spoken about on the same scale. Let’s change that.

  19. SISTAS PLEASE STOP following poisonous NARRATIVES.
    We aren't SUPERWOMEN!
    We're FEMALES with strengths, weaknesses; good & bad behavior.
    You're hurting, seek as MANY healthy & safe ways 2 assist your ISSUES.??

  20. @02:55 …girl, what? stop. No experience is truly that different? She's been going to that nice white lady too long. The whole black experience is STILL an experience! I can't with these pc celebs…get the real ones next time, OWN.

  21. I have been to therapy at various times through the years, on my own volition. “The Strong Black Woman” label is hurting us. We can gain strength from saying we need help and then seeking the help out. Being a black woman is hard as can be because society demands so much and then our families and our communities demand a lot too, and we don’t always get the love and respect we deserve. We have to learn to love ourselves, and that can happen in therapy. We do need more Black therapists.

  22. I think vulnerability in black women is in direct conflict with what the community wants and needs black women to be. The focus is usually in the weakness and vulnerability of black men, there’s no room for black women to explore vulnerability and even femininity.

  23. All this conforming to American standards of normal is making black people crazy . Black People need to go back to the way they used to be . We were much happier.

  24. Self care means self care just like you eat right, exercise and make sure you look good you have to be just as diligent about your mental health your inner self

  25. Look at these morbidly obese unattractive black women. It’s sad women that look like this even have a voice. Do you black queenz listen to unemployed men, no their dusty, their failures, we’ll why do fat ugly black women have a voice, they are failures as women. Gross.

  26. To whomever did the casting for this episode: Absolute perfection! The panel were perfectly matched, worked together well and respected each other. More, please??

  27. I remember when my dad was going through something, he didn’t want to talk to me about it, since I was his daughter. So I suggested that he go to therapy. Instead, he shrugged/joked it off like “black people don’t go to therapy”.

    Well, a year or two later, my family had tragically broken apart. My father had left/abandoned his family. Everyone was caught off guard by this because he was a hard worker, a devoutful Christian, everything you can think of in an upstanding man.
    When I finally was able to talk to him about what happened, he opened up and told me he had actually went to therapy when I recommended it to him. Partly, why he had left and why everything spiraled out of control is because when he had finally finished telling his story to the therapist. In return, the therapist basically told him “you’re going to hit rock bottom and I can’t help you”. My dad couldn’t understand why would someone that you’re going to seek help from, turn away from you and not help.
    Black people typically don’t open up about their issues. They usually don’t ask for help. So for my dad to even make a phone call, make an appt, get in the car, drive to the therapist and open up about his struggles… must have been EXTREMELY hard on him. And at the end of all of that, to have a licensed medical professional tell you that they can’t help you, was like a big slap to his pride.

    If I had known, I wish I could have told him to seek help elsewhere. But he didn’t know, he’s that one stop shop kinda guy.

    So yes, I do approve of therapy. But if you feel like you are not getting the right help you need/deserve or that they are just pushing pills on you, then go with your gut feeling and please look elsewhere. And don’t give up till you find the right one.

  28. Bawling my eyes out watching this! I felt this with my whole soul! How can I watch the full episode without a cable subscription?

  29. Puhlease that buffalo the one wearing all black alone needs therapy for being a buffalo and being stupid enough to wear all black!!!!!!!! with her very dark coloring!!!!! did she also think that color choice was going to be thining on her?!!!!!!

  30. When we bought our 1st home we set up a salt water aquarium. We couldn’t keep the Ph balanced which caused the African cichlids began to attack and eat each other. I remember thinking are people like this too? Over the last 2 year journey into electric foods and learning about the alkaline body have been so enlightening! When you have an alkaline body, your body, which includes your BRAIN, functions how God intended it to. I’ve gone to and purchased the herbs Nervino, and it helped me a lot. I began to have panic attacks, of course I didn’t believe in them, black people ain’t got to to panic about nothing! Lol. I only had 3,and this herbal remedy, still being produced by Dr. Sebi’s wife and kids, along with adapting to not only a vegan diet, but an electric diet worked for me. Now, funny thing is, I may have been misdiagnosed, and my high potassium levels could’ve caused those symptoms that I had of having a heart attack. Go figure!

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