How can I recover after hard therapy sessions? #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

How can I recover after hard therapy sessions? #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

Hey everybody! Happy Thursday! Now today’s video is going to be
a good old fashioned FAQ and I got a question from the website If you haven’t been over to What are you doing? I’ve updated the chat feature and made it prettier, fancier, and hopefully
easier for all of you. and there are also my free workbooks
I have an eating disorder one a self harm, an LGBTQ+ one.
So, check those out. Let me know what you think.
I’m always open to your feedback it’s a place to get support all the time
and I got this question from the website because I can’t get
through all the questions and comments no matter how I try. I read
them all I interact as much as I can, but if not, one of the kinions
one of the members of our community may answer it for you,
and this had a lot of chatter. So, the question says, “Hey Kati and
kinions, do you have any tips for recovery after therapy sessions. I have been
going for awhile but I’m still exhausted after each session, even if we didn’t
talk about super intense events. After session, I’m exhausted
for the rest of the day and I can barely function. Is there anything
I can do differently to be a little more productive on the days
I have therapy?” Now a lot of people either said that
they struggle with it too and they don’t know what to do and a couple people
offered up some tips and what’s helped them. Now, I’m just going to share with you
what I do with some of my clients Especially, if they report this. If you haven’t told your therapist about this I would encourage you. Please! Please! Please! At the beginning
of your next session. Let them know You can say it just like you said it here.
You can say, “Afterwards, I’m so exhausted I don’t know what to do I just can’t anything done
it’s so ughh terrible. What can I do to help? The therapist
hopefully will offer up some tips. Now, something that I do, if I am working
on something really intense I set aside the last 15 min to let them
come out of it, breathe, slow down, we can do some grounding techniques.
Grounding techniques mean anything from like holding onto silly putty
something like that kind of helps, Sometimes when my clients have rubberbands
they snap on their wrist or We’ll have them count out colors
around the room We’ll talk about the texture of the couch,
I’ll sometimes have them stand up. They can feel the balance shift from foot
to foot. Some of those things and all of those things can help people.
All is up to you and what works for you and that’s why there are so many different
options. And that’s why I’m telling you all the different things that I do, but
that is what I usually do with my clients but they have to let me know, as well.
A lot of times, I will notice if I can see from the way they’re responding in therapy
and if it’s really difficult. and if let’s say, we have to end session
and there’s nothing we can do. I’m like, “Hey, my other client is here.
I’m already 5 min late. You’re going to have to go. We can check in later.
They can text. We can email. There are different ways we can make sure
they’re okay and are calming down Another thing I have a lot of my clients
do is have a playlist that they play at the end of their session in their car
or make sure you don’t have anything going that day.
Make it at the end day. So even if you’re tired, you’re going
home, eating dinner, you’re going to bed and it’s okay.
You can cry, sit in your car and cry for a bit. I’ve had a lot of clients
tell me they do that and even someone mentioned below this
question, which is a great idea is changing the day or time of your session.
Like I said, putting it at the end of your day. Be the last client your therapist
sees that day. I usually end at 7 or 8 pm Being that last client, means that there
isn’t that much more you have to do. Don’t do it in the morning before
you go to work if you’re feeling like this or putting it on a
weekend or on a Friday or something that works better with
your schedule. Maybe you don’t work on Tuesdays, so put it on a Monday night.
Whatever works for you and I would encourage all of you. Please.
Leave you comments below. Let us know what you’ve done to help
yourself recover from therapy we can learn from all of our different
experiences that’s what makes our community
so great. If you’re new to my channel. Click here to subscribe and if you want
more information like this click over here.
I will see you next time. Bye!

100 Replies to “How can I recover after hard therapy sessions? #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton”

  1. Hi Kati! I talked to my doctor about how I've been feeling and I really want to take it back. How do I get her to forget about it because I don't want the help anymore or her to keep asking me…

  2. It's funny because this recently happen to me. I went into therapy just mad at the world and basically I verbally attacked my therapist. She told me she was starting to become angry with me and I basically told her I did not care. Finally, she told me she though it would be best to refer me to someone else. She told me this towards the end of our session and boy did that work me up more. I was angry the rest of the day. I eventually went home and had to think about what happened in therapy. It finally clicked in my head of what I did and said. First I wrote an email apologizing for the terrible comments I made toward her. I also told her I thought it would be great to maybe talk about everything that just happened in our next session. The agreement we came to was the same as Kati said. We agreed to take the last ten minutes of our session to just express my feelings, how the sessions went, what I would like to work on for the next week etc. Not sure this comment was helpful or not, but was just my situation. I will say since we begin taking that last ten minutes to just sit with our session it had become a lot easier. I at one point would just get up and leave before our session ended because it for me was to hard to finish. That obviously did not get use anywhere. I have finally learned that your therapist is not a psychic, she will not know how you are feeling if to do not tell her. The best advice I can give is to just talk to her about what's going on with you and I promise she already has many solution to solve your problem. (sorry this comment is so long )

  3. I try to make sure I have an hour free after therapy to relax. Going for a walk, having some tea, talking to a friend are things I have found helpful. I've for sure had times where I had therapy and then had to run to class… sometimes I had to leave because I was upset from therapy and didn't want people to see me cry.

  4. I'm a person who needs therapy either to be at the end of the day, or on a day when I have nothing else going on. For example, right now I see my therapist at 1:30 on Mondays, but I don't have class on Mondays, and I told my job I'm not available to work. That way I've got the whole day to decompress and do what I need to do. Often that means taking a nap or watching Netflix for awhile or listening to music. There are lots of things to do!

  5. omg perfect timing. had a tough session today and was the first time I've cried in therapy… legit feeling wierd the whole day

  6. I was struggling with this too so me n my therapist tried different things but we found that distracting DURING therapy is helpful… like coloring or connect the dots so it feels more relaxed

  7. Hi Katie,

    I was physically, emotionally, and possibly sexually abused until I was a senior in high school. I'm a freshman in college and I love my music teacher a lot. He's the first guy that I ever felt safe and comfortable with. I fantasize about me and him cuddling with each other. He would rub my back, kiss me, and tell me that he will love and protect me for as long as he lives. I want him to kiss me and tell me that he loves me. I want to fall asleep in his arms and have him tell me that he will keep me safe and that I don't have to worry about anything because he will take care of me. Is that at all creepy or weird?

  8. loved this vid and your faqs. it put a smile on my face after feeling sick . thanks for doing what you do kati your awsome . the metal health community have helped to keep me alive . ?

  9. My therapist has a rock garden she has everyone take a rock on their first session. And when you feel anxious or you're all over the place she says to use the rock to ground yourself or imagine yourself in the office…… The safe place.

  10. Agree with having sessions toward the end of the day!
    I'd block 2-3 hours after session for myself just to process and normalize (it was really expecting too much for me to go right back to work or even directly home sometimes).
    Also, there's an ice cream shop and a Starbucks that I used to go to right after therapy. I think that qualifies as good self-care!

  11. Haha my therapist does the thing where you count the colors in the room! And for sure, grounding techniques are great.

  12. Music + working out has been the ultimate remedy. It calms me down and sometimes I even forget I had a hard session !

  13. Hey Kati! I have signed up for your website but the confirmation email won't send so I can't log on! I have re sent the confirmation email like 20 plus times but I'm not receiving it! 🙁 i don't know what else to do!

  14. Kati can you do a video about the right time to leave or 'graduate' from therapy, and how to deal with your feelings around going it on your own? This of course for when your therapist believes it's time for you to go out on your own. There's a lot of focus about how to get started with therapy but I can't find anything on the ending of therapy.

  15. I needed this. Thank you.
    I find myself sometimes not being able to function for even a day or two after a difficult session. It can be really draining.

  16. #KatiFAQ
    Would it be useful to see a therapist if I don't want to be diagnosed with anything? I have symptoms of depression, but I don't really want a diagnoses of depression in my medical records for the rest of my life. I would feel judged because I can't get happy by myself.

  17. I didn't even know this was a thing that happened to a lot of people. I always thought it was just me. Thanks for talking about this. I will let my therapist know.

  18. I struggle with this too…. I haven't been able to "let myself" cry in a therapy session yet. Instead I seem to either break down and cry or feel angry and irritated afterwards! It's really bothering me, but I can't seem to do anything that helps.

    Question: How long is a therapy session usually?
    When I did CBT I had 45 minutes with my psychologist every 1-2 weeks. Now I get 90 minutes in group psychoeducation once a week and sessions with my psychiatrist lasting between 10 and 45 minutes. (I'm newly diagnosed with bipolar)

  19. I started scheduling my sessions after work or whatever I am doing that day as I can go home and do some self care and go to bed early.

  20. Thank you so much for covering this topic. I had a session on Tuesday, and it was rather difficult. I've been feeling really bad for the past two days. I'm finally getting out of my funk, but this is actually really helpful for when I do have my next session with my psychologist. Thank you so much!

  21. Thank you so much for all you do for everyone. You are a YouTube superstar and a blessing to those of us who desperately need help and can't afford a therapist. On my hard days(in recovery for SH) I watch a shit ton of your videos to distract. Thank you thank you thank you!!!! ❤️❤️

  22. Hey Kati,
    I want to request your opinion on manipulation. I tried to hang myself the other day and when my dad found me he said I was being manipulative. I wasn't but sometimes I do get the urge to take advantage of people's stupidity. My mom has the same problem. My question is if something like that is genetic or has to do with upbringing? What can I do to reduce this personality symptom so people will believe me under such hard circumstances as I've exemplified above. Thanks <3 Rebecca

  23. what are your thoughts on self sabotage? i suffer from depression and i have periods in my life that i can't work and i lose my job because of too many absences. i need help but with no health insurance its hard.

  24. A great way to get out of that odd mood, is to just take a second or two. When you get in your car or your bike or go home, taking the trolley or anything, just take a second to shut your eyes. Take a deep breath, hold it, let it out. And then make yourself smile, when you get home, relax- make some tea or coffee or just warm water, take a hot bath.. Things you enjoy.

    Also, do you councilor kids or adults?

  25. Love this topic. My appointments are scheduled late in the day, and I make sure to leave the rest of the day open ended just in case it's a hard session. Then, I usually go get a green tea from Starbucks (the antioxidants help!) and take a short drive until I feel myself calming down. Sometimes I will voice record a journal entry while I'm driving too, which has been a good way for me to decompress while I'm in the car.

  26. After a "good" therapy session, for me it's normal to be exhausted. But besides feeling tired, I feel satisfied. If you don't feel satisfied after a session, that's not a good sign. Sometimes I come away from sessions and don't feel like I accomplished anything. That's when I feel sluggish and tired after. But if I have a productive session, generally I feel a good exhausted, if there is such a thing.

  27. Check out the guided healing meditation on YouTube by The Honest Guys. I imagine I am breathing in positivity and light and exhaling pain.

  28. Hey Kati, I have been diagnosed last year with depression, social anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. I've had suicidal thoughts before in the past but recently, its been stronger than before. I want to share it with my therapist but it seems like every time I tell her, she "warns" me about hospitalizing me. I know that is part of her job to keep me safe but it makes me feel like I have to lie to her to reassure her about my safety. Is there a way that I can share it with her without feeling afraid that she will hospitalize me?

  29. Perfect timing for this video! I had my toughest session yet today. I left feeling emotional and a bit overwhelmed.
    Thank you for posting!

  30. i used to leave ,sit in the car do a mindful exercise ,go home have a bath ,watch some "mindless tv' have a cry allow myself to feel exhausted and treat myself kindly like i would a child whos had a really exhausting day,bubble bath,a nice gentle walk,colouring in,,wrote down flashbacks listened to any music that i wanted to even if it was miserable 😉

  31. I try and make sure I get everything done that needs doing that day BEFORE my session. Afterwards I clean my room, organise things, have a shower with lit candles (don't have a bathtub sadly), have a cup of tea, listen to music, and watch TV. I try and let those afternoons be unproductive, which helps my wellbeing and is productive in itself.

  32. Hi Katie,

    It's almost the end of the school year and I'm scared. I don't want the school year to end. I love my music teacher so much. He's the first person to ever see me cry. I finally feel safe and protected with him. I'm going to try so hard not to cry on the last day of class but on the inside I want to hug him and cry into him and beg him not to leave me. He's the first person I've ever felt safe with and I don't want him to leave me alone. I want him to hug me and tell me that everything's going to be okay and that he's going to be there for me when I need it. Is this normal or am I being a big baby?

  33. I have 2 more sessions left and I'm scared about leaving her and I'm scared that somethings is going to go wrong and because we finished are session I can't see her again and I trust her more than anything plus I have got to attached to her because I have been seeing her since I was 15 and I'm 17 next mouth. Please help

  34. I have definitely struggled with this too. It helps me to let my partner know that I want the house to myself after therapy so I can cry, sleep, journal, whatever, and recover before I have to pick up the carpool at 3. I like to eat a good breakfast, go to therapy around 10, then the next 4 hours are just getting back to functional. Or they were. It's gotten better. Love to you all.

  35. thank you so much for this awesomely ha bisky vid i have been so drained recently just from the election stuff on its own (my job i want has to do with politics) and i am certain bernie sanders will be the nominee and i feel like i am the only one besides tytcomedy that realizes that sanders is better off then obama was in 08 and i am trying to get the others at TYT to realize it

  36. hey Kati i was hoping that u could make a video on this type of therapy that my therapist wants to start with me i forgot the name of it but it is like you are going back and talking to your child self and saying stuff you wanted to hear as a kid i just wanted to know what it is suppose to do and how does it work and help?

  37. Thank you for this video, just in the right moment, i just starting therapy and it lets me so tired, i tought i was theonly one that experience that. 🙂 (sorry for the grammar i'm from mexico my english is a little rusty)

  38. I would really love to hear your thoughts on depersonalization , is it a symptom of a bigger mental disorder? Not only depersonalization but also just not feeling as if you're in reality , like someone is watching you , like your a simulation. I have a friend with pretty severe ocd and lately they have been saying this a lot , idk what to do. Thank you 🙂

  39. I used to do therapy sessions over the lunch hour in high school, and it was really hard to go back to class. I found that getting one of my favorite lunches (peanut butter, honey, banana, flatbread from Tropical Smoothie – yummy!) after each session served as a little way to take care of myself, especially because I usually skipped lunch. I would tell myself, "You are okay. Your feelings are valid and significant. You don't have to solve everything right now. We can unpack them later, and give the time and energy they need." Using my compassionate mind to soothe and care for myself helped me to refocus on what I needed to do.

  40. I sit in my car and journal. I do this to get everything out and note down anything important or helpful that she said so that I don't forget. It helps me get my head together afterwards. Sometimes it doesn't help much, but it is worth a try.

  41. Oh Kati I can't wait to recommend you to my dear friend. You have helped me open up sooooooooooooooooooo much that I can't wait to share you!

  42. set aside the last 5 or 10 minutes of you session to talk with your therapist about lighter topics such as the weather or current events! this helped me so much because i felt when I was leaving i didn't have the heavy intense topics still taking up my whole mind and I could reflect more on the drive home rather than feeling I had left my issues wide open. This 5 or 10 minutes allowed me a lot of closure on my issues at least for that session!

  43. This is definitely something i can relate to. After my first therapy session a few months ago I was so exhausted from all the emotional drainage that all i could do was sleep. My body was sore and my brain was exhausted. I had no energy for days after. Of course it gets better to handle but it also depends on what you talk about when with your therapist.

  44. I'm having the same problem. I started therapy 4 weeks ago, and i like my therapist, now i'm able to trust her and to open up more. But before and sometimes during therapy i felt really anxious, and it drained me. Now at the end of a session, when i leave the room i feel i have no energy, i'm exausthed, i take my bus and return home. I'm lucky because it's afternoon, around 5 pm, i and don't have other appointments things to do, so i go to home, i listen to my favorite music. At home i try to relax myself, so i take a shower, read, or watch a movie…another thing i do is to write down the session, because it helps me to remember what happened, and i write about my emotions feelings too.

  45. I'm 17, and I'm diagnosed with BPD…. my mom has it too., but the worst thing is that my mom is "acting-out", but i'm "acting-in". How can i cope with guilt? It's so hard for us to live together without arguing and crying. Can you give me any tips?

    (sorry about my English… I'm Polish, but I hope you will understand it… )

  46. After my therapy sessions, I immediately go home and just write out everything I'm feeling. I've found that capturing your raw emotions instead of dwelling on them and overthinking them actually helps you process them better.

  47. If I feel that I need to recover from a therapy session, usually I have a hot cup of tea and read a book or watch tv, go to my support system such as my mom or my friend to just talk, go for a walk, blast some music (nothing sad or intense), listen to a meditation tape (there are many meditation apps available to download for free)…stuff like that

  48. What do you think about people that doing "eating challenges" when they are "recovered" from an eating disorder? For example, someone with a history of anorexia becoming a competitive eater–can they really be recovered or are they just symptom swapping? And what do you think about people that become vegan to "recover" or "go raw". Is this really recovery?!

  49. I like going and riding, which is my go to, always makes me feel better activity. So whatever that activity is for you, I'd do that

  50. I usually move around, maybe go outside and take pictures then try to draw the picture/just doodle. That always helps me. Even though recently it has been getting harder and harder for be to become motivated to do anything after therapy.

  51. I am going to have to try some of these ideas. I seriously binge all day after my weekly therapy appts and its soooo frustrating.

  52. Love this video!! I used to have a really hard time afterwards when I started going again.. Do you plan on making an anxiety workbook anytime soon?

  53. Your videos are always so rich of easy to grasp information and they inspire so much!Because of You and Your channel, I started therapy 6 months ago.:) It is tough but so worth it.I can finally walk down the street, enjoy a sunny day without fear of people even if place is crowded.I can live again.I feel so alive again.:) Thanks for all the great work You and Your team is doing, keep on changing the world one person at the time.<3

  54. one of the things that have helped me is when I had a job te day after therapy was my day off or I schedule them after work or school or on a day where I do not have works well when after therapy I scheduleat least part of a day to take care of me,

  55. I go for a walk, either half an hour or a full hour. It helps distract my mind from the topics discussed in the session. If the weather isn't suitable for outdoor activities i sometimes just sit in my room and stare at the precipitation falling down and practice mindfulness. It's really all about shifting focus from the mental struggles to something innocent.

  56. I needed this. I had a tough session today that left me super on edge all day, leading to more obsessive thoughts.. Also, could you maybe do a video on seeing a college therapist like the ones on campus and how to merge into college smoothly (from moving away from your therapist).

  57. Why do some therapists make things so difficult/hard while therapists I've had in the past were more gentle about approaches? Should I change therapists if she makes me feel worse and not more empowering after sessions? I've been through trauma and she told me I was "rude" when I don't find myself rude but I went through a very bad traumatic situation so I can't control my actions when that's how I reacted in the disastrous situation. I tried finding therapists that take medicare but it's hard considering getting one more experienced or one that doesn't care as much about their jobs and are there for just a job. Advice?

  58. I personally just just chill out, watch movies, play video games, nap

    I just relax after session but then again I have nothing else to do

  59. just a few weeks ago i basically had a mental breakdown after a therapy session and cried all night so I invited a close friend of mine to come over after my next session and she is a person I can talk to and who calms me down sooo much just being there and listening because I feel so safe around her…it also helps me to put physical pressure on my body like a tight hug or if I'm alone I wrap myself up in a blanket…and she stays untill I'm calm enough which usually takes about an hour and listens to me repeating my session ? it really works so well and since I always feel like I'm holding people back I cook dinner for us the day before so we can eat together which she'd do anyways so I don't feel like I'm taking away her time ?

  60. I walk out almost "stunned" like I am in a daze. It's like I get going real good talking and of course we have to end the session and I wish I could keep talking.

  61. A question I have is therapy suppose to feel bad? Should I leave feeling better and improve between sessions or is it normal to feel really bad and maybe even get worse in the beginning? I'm scared that if I continue to see my therapist that will trigger me and I will be in the hospital.

  62. finding a therapist like this is one in a million how do we find a therapist like the one here? Online? there must be someone like her?

  63. she probably charges more than 100 an hour if only i could find a therapist like her but just starting out maybe. She probably has a billlion people lined up.

  64. Have experienced a lot of this lately and recently just had to break down a little and do some crying Love to have a good Spa/Pamper night with essential oils and favorite moisturizing lotions body butters or creams have yet to share this with my Christian Counselor

  65. I don't work on Wednesdays, but I have classes. So I normally schedule my appts after classes. As long as I don't have any major commitments after session (including meeting up with a friend, volunteering, even going to a support group, study group), I'm fine. But if I have to rush to something right away, then it's hard for me. Some times I will even just sit in my car for ten-15 minutes before I start driving home, and since driving sometimes stresses me out, the extra prep helps. Self care like baths with bath bombs (super popular right now), sleep, warm foods (soup, hot chocolate), or just laying down in the grass and stretching really helps.

  66. I know this is a late comment but i just found this channel this past month and trying to find out more about my illness. I am pretty lucky because my therapist works for a nonprofit and runs a huge part of the program so I am one of the very few patients my therapist has and gives me the whole hour. Almost alway at the end she has to help wind me down just so that I can go home and somewhat function. If my therapist sees its going down hill really fast we stop and redirect but then I feel like I didnt accomplish anything that session and that has been me a lot in the past few months. I am bipolar 2 and I am cycling so much right now its draining me. Thank you for your videos. I am glad I accidentally found this because at times I wasnt sure if therapy was right for me.

  67. I really can't recover after therapy right now. It seems all I do in therapy is cry…then I have to leave. and then I have to act normal….but I have no energy and can't stop crying on and off. Then as night comes it gets into panic stuff…the grounding things don't help they just postpone everything cause I know what's going to happen and why we are doing those grounding things.

  68. So many times have I walked out of a therapy session either having such a rush that I'm almost about to burst into some kind of euphoric laughter, wobbly knees and red eyes after crying or absolutely trembling with anxiety. Having a car to seek refuge in in such times is a luxury so far unmatched, especially when you have appointments in the mornings and you don't necessarily want to walk around looking a total mess…

  69. For me, I ether go to the coffee shop next to my house, go for a long walk, or go to the gym. It tend to have the days free when I have a therapy session so I don’t have to worry about work.

  70. I go into a panic like state after talking to a guidance counsellor and I had a panic attack after having an intake phone call for starting therapy

  71. Kati- I have been in therapy and w/ a dietician for over a year. My anorexia kicked back in b/c of stressful divorce and other "life" issues(we all have them right?) I have another continuance on the Divorce and feel I am wasting my time(and theirs) until that happens because I AM STUCK.  Thoughts….

  72. #katifaq Isn't therapy supposed to make you feel better? Wouldn't it be retraumatizing, what is the point if it affects you?

  73. I have a routine to stop by at this neighboring fast food place after a session. It serves both coffee and food (sometimes I'm super hungry after a session), it's anonymous enough and I can sit down and take a moment to recover right after the session, before even commuting home. I put on headphones against the public place noise and rest for a bit. I guess the either hot or cold drink serves as a grounding thing too. That said, I still rarely schedule anything for after therapy. It takes energy to relearn my whole life, so some amount if exhaustion I just allow for.

  74. Damn. After a therapy session im ''out'' for days… It took me 2 weeks of not seeing my therapist to get my energy back and start cleaning my apartment again :')

  75. Hi Kati! I've thinking about becoming an lpc but I don't know if my heart can handle listening to tragedies. I don't want to get the depression my clients would have. Any tips on how to deal with this problem?

  76. I went to my first appointment (initial intake) and even though we didn’t cover anything but the basics I came home and was drained. I guess it’s partially because I felt relief that I know I made the first step to start healing.

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