Hey everybody, Happy Thursday! Do you guys remember this background? So cool I got this at CB2. Many of you asked. It’s been years ago. Purchased it. Pretty sure they don’t have anymore. It’s been like ten years, but it’s like a throwback. TBT, it’s Thursday! Oh, full circle. Look at us, coming together. What today’s video is … no not Harry Potter, Coffee and a Chat. And hot off an espresso machine, just the way I like it. Oh yeah. Okay so today’s topic is something that a lot of you have asked me about. And I’ve heard from you, both sides of it, so what’s the thing I’m talking about? Therapy and Religion I’ve heard from many of you that you are not religious, and you in some way feel that your therapist, You found out that they’re religious. Or you feel that they’re pushing you to be more religious and pray, and things like that. Or on the other side I’ve heard from a lot of you that you are religious and you’re concerned about seeing a therapist who is religious and shares the same values as you. Or on the third portion of it, I guess, I’ve heard from a lot of you that you’re seeing someone at church who Is not a licensed mental health professional. And you’re curious my thoughts on that. So there are three things we’re gonna talk about, so let’s get into it so this video isn’t crazy long. So the first part is if you’re not religious and you in some way feel that your therapist Is kind of pushing you to be religious or is religious themselves and that bothers you. There are a couple of things we can do, as always. And this is something you can blanketly give to any therapy situation, and that is if you don’t feel like you can communicate with your therapist or if you have communicated and they’re not listening to you, and they’re still kind of pushing their own agenda. I’ve heard that with regard to medication from many of you, but with regard to religion, If you’ve told them you’re not. You prefer that not be part of your therapy practice, But they keep bringing it up I would have a conversation with them about it. And if they still aren’t hearing you, I would ask for referrals. That’s okay. I know that a lot of you feel really nervous about doing that, and I know that many of you have told me, but I just can’t imagine myself saying that to a person. Remember that therapy is different than a regular friendship or relationship in general. It’s not about the therapist. It’s about you, the client. If You don’t feel comfortable. If they are making you uncomfortable even though you’ve spoken up about something, then it’s time for you to find someone who hears you and respects your point of view. Because everyone has different views when it comes to religion. I’m not saying in this video that you need to, don’t need to, should feel some way. Everyone has the right to practice their own religion in the way that they see fit. Or not practice in the way they see fit. That’s all, that’s everyone’s choice. That’s what, we, you know, that’s what makes life wonderful. So with regard to that, I would speak up. I would tell them if you still feel that they’re pushing it on you, I would express your discontent about that. And ask for referrals, and find someone. Even you can ask that when you see people. I’ve had clients ask me, hoping that I was Jewish. I’ve had a couple clients ask if I was Jewish and I’m like, “oh, sorry I’m not. But are there certain things you want me to incorporate or would you like some referrals?” That’s fair. You can ask it straight up. First session or even on the phone before you make the first session, okay. That’s the first part. Second part: if we are religious. I need a sip of coffee before I get Into that one. Okay, if we are religious and religion Is very important to you, and you want it to be part of your therapy process Just like I said before, you can ask when you call. And there are tons of therapists, even the one actually the therapist that I share an office with, she is a Christian based therapist. And that’s something that she does. She was one of my teachers at Pepperdine and that’s how come I found her. And that’s why we share an office. But Pepperdine is a religious school. It’s a Christian School. So she practices out of that base, that religious base. Now she doesn’t do with all of her clients. I actually asked her about it, so that I knew who to refer to her. She’s like “I don’t do it with all my clients, but I’m happy to pray with them. I’m happy to talk about scripture with them. Whatever they need in order to feel better and recover.” So keeping that in mind, you can ask around. Ask right away. See what it is, if they do, if they don’t. If it’s important to you, then it should be important in the therapy process. Because on both ends of the spectrum, if you don’t want it or if you do want it that’s all part of who you are and what’s important to you. And I think that being able to speak up about that and be able to have a conversation with someone who’s on the same page as you and understands where you’re coming from can be really beneficial. And it can be sometimes hurtful if we feel that they’re not respecting that choice. Am I right? So speak up about it. Ask about it. Oftentimes churches will have a whole referral list of people in the area or maybe members of the congregation that they can refer you to. And to note if you run into someone, so let’s say you are seeing a religion based, like a Christian based therapist, and you yourself, a Christian, you end up going to the same church and you bump into them. You don’t have to say hi unless you want to, and they will not say anything, because that, we hold your confidentiality. I would never, even if I was walking on the street and saw a client, I wouldn’t be like hey. They have to say hi to me first, and then I would say hi, because you have to acknowledge me. I don’t want to say hi, and then your friends say like how do you know that person, who’s that? And you have to answer that. So just to keep that in mind, especially with regard to church. Now the third portion Is if we’re in church, and we’re going to see someone who likes works as part of congregation. Often they have like what they call counselors or … They’re not licensed professionals. If you have licensed professionals in our church that’s wonderful. I’m glad they have that resource, but often times you’ll talk to your pastor, your preacher, the priest, whoever it is you talk to in, and I know I’m leaving out other religions. That’s only because of my, you know, off the top of my head knowledge. That is in no way discrediting anything else. But you’ll talk to a member of your church, whether it’s the leader of the church or one of the people who works within it. And you can often ask them a lot of questions, and they can give you a lot of advice from a spiritual place. I want you to understand that there is a limit to what they can offer for you, because of their knowledge base and schooling. If they don’t have a license and haven’t practiced different therapy techniques, you’re gonna find that they often don’t have those tools to give you. So recovery can take longer. You may, it may just be more advice given from a religious background. That’s honestly what it’s like; advice but it’s from a religious place. And that can be great that can be great. I’ve had many clients talk about how it was really great for their marriages or it was really great for their children. So there’s definitely a place for it. I just want you all to be cognizant of the fact that they haven’t gone to school for it. There’s gonna be some ways that they’re very limited in the tools that they can give, and the things they can recommend to you and the support that they can offer. Yes they have that whole other component which gives them a leg up, if that’s important to you. But just keep that in mind, because I’ve heard from some of you that you’ve been given, what I would call some horrific advice in the therapy world, not from a religious standpoint but in the therapy world. Had been given some advice that kind of goes against what we would learn in school, and so just be cautious. Proceed with caution when it comes to that. And if you’re just seeking a little bit of support and advice, you just need to vent, you’re upset about something, and it’s something that you could go to a friend about, but you’re wanting someone who is kind of outside of the situation to hear it. That’s what it’s there for. That’s what they’re there for. That’s what I think Is best. Because otherwise I’m afraid that if we’re recovering from addiction or eating disorder or self-injury, It’s a little bit out of their scope and over their head because they haven’t gone to school for it. They don’t really know how to treat it. And I just want to protect all of us in this situation, making sure that we’re all getting the help and support that we need at the level that we need. And there’s room for everybody. We have friends and family and all sorts of support systems in our life, and I think it’s Important to keep those. Just making sure that when we really need serious professional help that we’re getting it. What do you think? Let me know what you think about therapy in religion. Do you think it has a place in it? Do you think it doesn’t? Have you had experience with it? Let’s chat in the comments, because everyone’s gonna have a different point of view. And like i said this isn’t me saying that one is good and another’s bad. These are just my thoughts, because this is what you requested. So i hope you all have a wonderful day, and I will see you tomorrow on a Live Stream. I’m getting better. I’m so much more technologically savvy. I can switch from YouNow after 30 minutes and pop over to Patreon, just like I promised. And we’ll be doing that Friday at 11 a.m. Pacific Standard Time, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye!