Therapy sessions from a therapist’s perspective! w/Kati Morton | Kati Morton

Therapy sessions from a therapist’s perspective! w/Kati Morton | Kati Morton


Hey Everybody! Happy Thursday. Now today’s video is actually something that I’ve been excited to talk about. It is a question that I received
a couple of weeks ago. I keep your questions in this
huge document so don’t think they are going unanswered
or lost they’re in this document that I hold. In this question says, “Hey Kati could you do a video on therapy
from the therapist perspective kind of like an inside view
of the process, like what do you think or feel when having
as session? Do therapist ever have moments when they
don’t know what to say? Or if someone brings up something
that they didn’t expect? How do you handle that. What if if a session takes an
unexpected turn? Huh! Do you ever have problems identifying
with the client or identify too much? Lots of random questions but I thought the
idea of the “inside” look of therapy would be really interesting and
informative thanks for everything you do and just for being you. Awe. I thought
this was really cool and something that I hadn’t actually thought
about sharing. But I’m sure everyone just like you have your own experience in
a therapy session as a client therapist are going to be different. So I
am just answering this from my perspective what I know and my experience. And am
gonna kinda try to go through her questions one by one. So the first
part she said Do therapist ever have moments when they
don’t know what to say? Or if someone brings up something
that they where not expecting? And definitely there are definite times
where I will have there is a problem thats been presented. And even though I may know
cause a lot of times as a therapist we know what that the like
“quote-on-quote” answer is or they just need to do this to “fix the
problem” cause I am trying to get you there and maybe telling you that
doesn’t help you. You have to figure it out and so there
are times when I’ve kind of come to like a road block where they’re not like
getting what I want them to get and I don’t know how else to say it and I’ll
be at a loss for words and I’ll just be honest. I’m kind of one of those
types of therapist where I’ll just say, “honestly I don’t really know what to say
right now. We’ve tried you know.” And I just kind of talk about the process
and usually by doing that we come unstuck. Either the client’s like, oh, they
see something or the recognize something or I am like here’s another way we could
go about it. And so there’s never one way to get there it’s not like you know
google maps or something it is like this is how to get from A to B it’s more like
waze, for those of you who know the waze app we could go all these different
directions to get to the same end point. The second part of the question says, umm “What if a session takes an unexpected
turn, do you ever have?” Oh, and that’s an another one. If it takes an unexpected
turn that.. honestly I never go into sessions having a pre-planned idea of what
we’re going to talk about. I have a nugget of where I’d like to go because
I can’t go into a session unprepared, that would be bad. But I also don’t go in
thinking this is what we have to accomplish because I would be upset
all the time, and so always sessions are taking unexpected turns. I’ll have
clients in the last ten minutes of a session umm we call them they use to
call them, what was it uhh door confessions or something like that
like as their about to leave they confess like a big deal. And I have that happen
all the time where someone is like, “oh by the way umm I have like
sexually abused for like 10 years” or; “oh by the way you know I purge
all the food I eat and bye” and so I get like these kinds of
drop offs at the end and then it just give me something to work
with umm for the next session. And so I often often just say that I’ll
say, “thank you so much for sharing, I am glad you feel safe doing that. Lets
you know table that for next week.” And we just move on ’cause there’s not
enough time and if we open that up it’s gonna take a long time make ’em safe
enough to leave. Umm, “Do you ever have problem
identifying with a client or identifying too much?”
Definitely we’re human too right it’s all about the relationship and that’s why I
talk so much on my channel about finding the right fit. I know not all of
us have all sorts of opportunities and referrals and stuff like that and
hopefully that will get better. And that is one of my global goals to
change how mental health operates world wide. But in the meantime
trying to find someone you can at least connect with because as
therpists I’ve referred clients out when I don’t feel like we’re really
connecting or they’ll just won’t want to make appointments and I just won’t you
know I’ll be like yah wonderful to see you and meet you umm here is some other people
you might like. That’s kinda like of part of the
process that’s completely normal. Umm and identifying too much, defiantly
that can also be bad too and it’s a struggle for therapist a lot of time to
countertransference. Like if they’ve gone through lets say I was in recovery from
alcoholism, I’m not but lets say I was and somebody comes to my office and I
don’t deal with that ’cause it too close to home and then I find out that they’re
doing that I might have to refer them out because it can be too hard for me to
keep my own shit out of the room; which is kind of important when
your helping someone else. And umm I think that was it yah so I hope
that was kind of interesting and informative. I know that there is
a lot of you know, behind the smoke and mirrors of therapist but we’re people too
and a lot of the things that you wonder about or worry about like we’re human so
yah we’re not gonna not know what to say, we’re gonna fumble our words sometimes
we are gonna like people and not like others and we just have the human
condition just like you. So I hope you like this leave all your
questions in the comments, make sure you give this a thumbs up, and don’t
forget to subscribe if your not already subscribed. I put out videos twice a week
and you don’t wanna miss em, and I’ll see you next time. Subtitles by the Amara.org community

100 Replies to “Therapy sessions from a therapist’s perspective! w/Kati Morton | Kati Morton”

  1. This is a great perspective of therapy. I personally developed some sort of mistrust of therapists because of some unsatisfactory past therapies.

  2. I need you to do a video on when a borderline is attached to you, Kati, and I'll never meet you because I'm not in America.

  3. Hi Kati

    I love how real and down to earth you are. I am currently studying Psychotherapy and nearly at a point of marketing myself and getting to that first session.
    Any advise you might have ?

  4. I would like to talk to you because I don't know what to do any more. Can you text me on Instagram ( my_hero_is_hope_solo)

  5. 3:10 – that was literally how I told my psychologist I was sexually assaulted for like 3 years …. Just as I was leaving I handed her a piece of paper which said "I was molested repeatedly for 3 years" and then just walked out ahaha whoops

  6. Also you got the trichotillomania..what are things that made you start to take a video about trichotillomania?It makes you better if you are doing video?

  7. Please please please do one like "confessions of a therapist" or "what your therapist really thinks" – I follow this blog that does that and it's a really good insight

  8. im not a therapist and i know what to say most of the time to people who are going through a hard time !. if you are just doing it for the money please stop.! There are people out there who really need real therapy help. if you don't know what to say don't even try to sit with someone who needs help and tell them bs.

  9. Kati, with any of the CSA trauma therapy techniques how do you balance healing from re traumatizing with a client? Obviously with this type of work looking at all this yucky junk can make you worse before better but how do you know if it is just the process or if it is to much for the client and they are experiencing more harm than good? I personally thought I was working well in therapy having a couple bad days after but less and less than my therapist said she felt it was re traumatizing me and stopped care. Love your videos your the best. Thank you

  10. My therapist/counselor says I am "Hard to work with". I dont tell her anything and litterally have told her it is a waste of time multiple times. I am kind of acting like a bitch when I talk to her but idc. I fucking hate it, it doesn't help at all.

  11. I would love to see a video on "tips and tricks"/ ways to get someone who is shy about their problems to open up. Like a lot of people are shy and feel uncomfortable. How do you deal with that?if people don't answer your questions do you just move on and change the topic or try another "technique" to get it out of them? I just know that people can be stubborn because we feel awkward talking to someone, especially when they're new, and are worried about being judged. So I was wondering basically how you help a patient of yours to open up so you can help them with their problems.

  12. Can you do a video on Skype therapy or video chatting with a therapist? Let's say you are struggling finding a therapist you connect with and you found one but she is thousands of miles away?

  13. Hi Kati, my therapist said, I have thought blocking and can't help me with that. She said I'm too confrontational and paranoid.
    I ended up telling her I may need help from someone who may understand me, cause I don't understand myself, and I don't think she understands me.

  14. if we are all humans then why are the ethics for therapists so anti communicative, inhumane, anti social, and greatly unequal and imbalanced by example and for society? I have a great horror story experience because of their ethics.

  15. transferring, would be healthy communication. its labeled as transferring, it can also be labeled as a friend with a similar experience. an equal, but to be equal is not within the guidelines of therapists ethics.

  16. I just started watching Kati (and of course subscribed!) but I love her! She's very real and honest and open. She says "shit" and just think that's awesome. She's real and I like that about her!! I don't like therapists who are all stuck up, behind their desk, watching the clock! Thanks Kati and I will for sure keep watching!! ๐Ÿ˜Š

  17. Hi Kati, I think my therapist is not getting it, or me. I kinda came out with my own diagnosis, and he said: why do you wanna be diagnosed so bad? … Like, honestly? I feel so thrown out with this response… what should I do? should I quit or should I tell him that my sessions have been really really slow and I need fast answers? HELP PLEASE

  18. Can you do a video on hoardings? WHY do we hoard, what causes the need to hoard? How are some ways we can learn to let go and be healed from the feeling of needing to hold on to stuff?

  19. Kati, apart from your channel there is literally nothing of this level from the therapist's perspective anywhere else on YouTube! Thank you so much and please keep us posted!

  20. Therapist: โ€œOkay so this is the end of your session. Did you-โ€œ

    Me: โ€œoh by the way I hate my self. Bye!โ€

    therapist just sits there staring at me

  21. I go through the same thing with the therapist ever time i ask a question she respons what do you mean i gave better answer comming from google then a therapist iam in a plentonic relationship with a girl and currently she is borrowing money from me but i want to show her i can be more of a man "marriage" if you go on google and i forgot got to mention she lesbian so right now she is having a sleep over with a girl and and the girl who is sleeping over has a married man in her life go figure at this point and time anything can happen with the straight and lesbian friend lesbian and straight has a gf and the other has a husband what one got with in then the other in the u.k.
    Same sex marriage is trying to reproduce children through the same sex in sex. the odds if those two having sex and creating a kid eggs turning into sperm in the u.k. albert einstien anything is possible the lesbian and straight creating kids really any advice much appreciated

  22. I think transference and countertransference are neither inherently good or bad; that there are a lot of levels to be worked on here besides identifying the attraction or which relative/s one or the other is correlating with the therapist. When the relationship becomes too close for the therapists comfort, it may be the "borderline projection" transferring the negative stereotype that education sets in the forefront scaring the therapist to "leave" just as the client has struggled to stay to this point of entering into close or intimate feelings. If the negative aspects of education are the transference, the therapist might be misidentifying that as the patient actually "expressing borderline traits or feelings" instead of seeing it may actually be the textbook descriptions getting transferred, in which case it is the stigma of the past ways of educating that need to be revised, such as the DSM periodically updates symptoms, criteria, and disorders. If this gets "misssed," borderline clients may get the boot for wanting things to be "too friendly," when actually it was more that the therapist's own learning that was identifying a page or chapter from a book and judging it to rather be part of the clients behavior when it may have been their own heightened emotion when they "thought" didactic was meeting clinical and so they may respond to terminate the therapeutic relationship prematurely. Of course, both things may be there also, spiraling around something else all together that both of you might discover and then the therapist would have something new to report to their own supervisor/therapist. Of course making sure all parties are safe and comfortable are of the utmost importance. I just think sometimes we just need to ask, "what else is there," or what can this be besides BPD/transference situation. This is my first commenting. I really like your videos Kati and the honesty I see with reading everyone's comments.

  23. Sooooooo interesting. More videos about this! I really want to know about how patients heal if they have like a lifetime of issues but couldn't afford therapy until they were older.

  24. I find it interesting that you call them clients and not patients. I just assumed I would be looked at as a patient if I went into therapy. Is this just a personal word choice, or is there meaning behind choosing one or the other? Really loving your videos. Just found them three days ago. I'm bingeing trying to pull all the info in as fast as I can because it's so interesting! Thank you for taking the time to share all of this with an audience. I'm sure it's hard work and certainly time consuming. I do love how succinct you are. Clearly, I'm not. I have a lot of trouble stating my feelings properly. Sometimes there's such a block between feelings and verbalizing that I literally am saying uuuummmmm, searching for the right words. Very frustrating.

  25. my cbt therapist called me I am a b'''h, "get out of my office", "is there something else you want to talk about"???!!! Then we talked on the phone and confirmed our next appointment, but I think I just want to part well with him. he also said he is using a proven method on me.

  26. wow , Im so glad I found you when I did .. I appreciate your hard work /videos ! Please keep it up ..it really helps a lot …

  27. I am very dissociative. I am SO glad that you brought up the idea of smelling something strong! I got essential oil of peppermint and it's helping more than anything else.Feeling my butt in the chair,arms on the armrests, isn't enough. I am gone too fast.Thank you! I tried feeling different fabrics once, and it had a positive affect on me, but it only helped for about 5-10 minutes.

  28. hi! when you are a student therapist you have to get therapy as a component of your course. but you're a student and have no money. what can you do to be able to afford them?

  29. Hi my name is Daniel Cesar my family wants me to do therapy but I feel that it will not work. I feel the therapist would just make me mad? I have had suicidal thoughts in the past please help .

  30. I was wondering , is it normal to feel like your wasting your therapists time and saying things that are irrelevant, despite reassurance from her that itโ€™s not? I also feel like other people need her more than me and feel bad asking for another appointment, is it just me that feels like that? Xxx

  31. I'm studying counselling and I've had this meeting with my,well,he's kinda like a career counsellor and the meeting was going ok and all of a sudden he says "Fucking" which made me feel more comforable I guess because I realised "Hey,he's a person too"
    So I wonder do you ever do something that might be "risky" or be seen inappropriate? I mean do therapists swear? Or do you have to keep it VERY professional?

  32. I think the term you were looking for is door knob therapy; yes I do get them a lot. What I do is talk about it at the next session. Question, should I send a quick email about that between sessions?

  33. What if a Therapist has tons of clients all attached to them? Doesn't that get over burdensome? I hate this attachment thing. It is too child like but I be damned if I do and damed if I don't. My neediness is going to kill me and eventually ruin my therapist.

  34. Have you ever spoken about feeling like you don't need therapy? Logically I can say, yea, I need help, but I've had my problems for so long that it's because my norm so I don't feel like there's any change that /needs/ to happen.

  35. Thank you Kati…I have recently found a wonderful shrink and he really is good to me but Iโ€™ve been through hell with previous shrinks and you nailed it…they couldnโ€™t keep their shit outta the room! Well done sister ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’›

  36. I absolutely love you Kati! You are a true hero. You have helped me through so much in a few months. It seems that every time I start getting depressed you make a video, and I cheer up! Thank you kati!โ™ฅ๏ธ

  37. Hi, Kati, just found your channel and LOVE it! Just curious: do therapists consider the Meyers Briggs personality test as a valid measure of personality type? If it isn't too personal, can I ask what your type is?

  38. Kati, Could you talk a little about impulsive behavior. Is it a behavioral/learned behavior, or is it any way related to a chemical imbalance in the brain ? brought the first house we looked at. Brought my daughter a car simply because she said she wanted to be able to go to the gym. ( she NEVER WENT) . Past HX Parental sexual assault, 12 years with 4 different therapists, SSRI @ 50 mg.has definitely a happier balance person then I was when I lived with the sperm donor. Your you tube posts are the best !!

  39. Saw a therapist a few days ago and Iโ€™m going back for a 2nd one in 4 days and Iโ€™m just wondering is there a way to find out if I have depression from a professional? Iโ€™m only 13 though so idk

  40. You are so beautiful and I almost died while I was watching this video. I hate myself. I wish I could have a self-esteem. Crap. I really feel like I have ruined my life and I'm only 22

  41. Thank you so much im still young but i want to be a therapist I've grown up wanting to help people idk what therapist i wanna be yet probably a physiatrist or something to that effect but I Was studying and writing in a journal that might help in the future thx this helped so much. Please keep making more videos and im subscribed now. Thxxx

  42. Hi. Kati I want to communicate with you about translating your video to different language like "arabic" & I want to know more details about working with you as translator
    .. I am very interested in your topics & I find it very helpful

  43. The whole โ€œoh by the way I purge all my food that I eat byeโ€ made me laugh so hard because there are times where that happens because of how the conversation turns but then the times up so itโ€™s this awkward finishing to the session. Relatable but also kinda funny in a dark way.

  44. Therapists are like human librarians. They get to keep all these memories and life stories in their mind. They see the deepest pain and experience of society. And with each case, their practice gets stronger.

  45. Why keep your stuff out of the session? Sometimes it can be helpful to connect so they understand that you get them and can help them because you've gone through it.

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