What A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Session Is Like (DBT)

So uh…Dialectical Behavior Therapy…uh so,
probably a normal session would be Doug on one side of me and then he
said okay, “so what’s what’s going on this week?” and usually he would give me
homework because would have intense therapy on Mondays, one-on-one and then
group therapy on Tuesday nights with three, like four or five other people.
And so they would give us homework out of the DBT books that we have and so
through the week we would do the worksheet and one of them could be about
fear…like what’s your fear? So on Monday, we would also have 24-hour therapy…we could
call him at any time if we’re having an intense emotions and he could walk us
through. “Okay, what’s the fear?” “Well, the fear is that
person doesn’t like me.” “Okay, well is that, is that true?” “No, because
this, this, and this…they’re my friend.” “They like me…they’re just busy right now,
or they didn’t text back.” I’m just giving examples. But so then he’s like
“okay, well maybe they’re busy.” Maybe you know, because of our thinking as a
borderline, we are all or nothing. So let’s say for example, somebody doesn’t text us
back right away. We…our brain thinks they don’t like us, they don’t love us, you know. Like forget them and then
that’s when our negative behaviors act out. So…in individual therapy, we do
what’s called a chain analysis so (and I don’t mind sharing this), so in June, I
hurt myself and I went into therapy and one of the guidelines is if you hurt
yourself, you had to call your therapist. He has to say “well you hurt
yourself…you have to wait 24 hours to talk to me”. And it’s them not saying we
don’t we don’t care about you. It’s they would have breached that
contract…it’s enabling our bad behavior. So when I hurt myself and I tried to
call my therapist, I forgot I signed that at the beginning and I got very
angry and I was like well screw him. I’m like, you know, he’s not a good therapist
anyway. Like all or nothing. Like I hate him. Blah, blah and I called my mom and I was
just like freaking out and so I got to therapy on Monday and by then I was like
calm and I felt bad and I apologized but I told him how I am really feeling. So that
week, he had me every day do a homework sheet on how my thoughts were and my feelings
and doing different emotional steps that we’ve learned in group and so that
really helped. But since December…and, so I started out in January and I ended in
August. I’ve definitely grown leaps and bounds
and I think it was because he told me that for 20-plus years my brain has been
doing negative things and for me to think that I’m going to
change over night…is you know,…we have to weed out the negative behaviors and so
he says that probably in March or April is when I started really improving like
he felt I had a desire to change but probably April, May and then June hit and
I really felt that something clicked in my head… I’m like these skills actually work…
like these DBT skills…I don’t have to feel emptiness. I don’t have to feel lonely.
I don’t have to feel that people are going to abandon me. Now those emotions
still come but now I’m able to deal with it at a better level.

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