What is SEX THERAPY? mental health advice with Therapist Kati Morton & Sexologist Dr. Doe

What is SEX THERAPY?  mental health advice with Therapist Kati Morton & Sexologist Dr. Doe


-Hey everybody! I have a wonderful and special guest. Many of you have requested that I sit down with Dr. Doe to talk about sexology and sex therapy. There’s a difference, I guess. -I’m sitting down with Dr. Doe, Lindsey Doe.
-Hi! -Tell ’em what you do. -I’m a clinical sexologist in Missoula, Montana. I’m visiting you, and, um, I work with clients doing what you would probably consider counseling or talk therapy, We sit on a red couch and we talk about their sexual health issues and goals, And then I also have a YouTube channel where I do sex education, called Sexplanations. -And it’s a great channel, and I’ll link it in the description, all of her stuff, so you can check it out And we also did a video on her channel that I’ll push to at the end. But today I wanna talk about – Because I learned something new, you guys, I had no idea That sex therapy was different than what Lindsey actually does. So, tell us a little bit about how we break those up. Are there certain things you talk about and don’t talk about, or…? -So some people actually consider them the same thing, they’ll go to get a degree in clinical sexology And they will call themselves sex therapists. I choose not to do that, I call myself a clinical sexologist. And the distinction I make is that I have not gone through training to learn how to work Specifically with someone’s psyche, or to do cognitive behavioral therapy, et cetera. You know, like… Your strengths. I don’t have that, and I – When I think of a sex therapist, I imagine someone who has gone through the training that you have And then specializes or gets additional education on sex. -Okay, so, when you got your masters – is that correct, or did you – -So my bachelors is in psych, my masters is in health, and my doctorate is in human sexuality. -Gotcha, okay, so there’s a lot of differences, and I know that a lot of you have asked questions about stuff like this So I’ll have a video coming where I describe all the different types of mental health professionals. So if someone was to come to your office and sit down, what would be the focus of the session? -I don’t do a lot of family of origin, backstory, sex history stuff unless it’s relevant, so… We will do a quick sex history, and I will try and get as much information as I can about their unique sexuality In the context of their whole well-being. So I’ll ask them about their mental health and their physical health, Their psychological health, how they learn best, so when I give them homework assignments I’m doing that targeted to them and what their needs are. And then we start talking about where they want to be, or what they’re struggling moving through, and Really, I see my role as holding space for them to not be judged for who they are, And then they do a lot of the work themselves, unpack what’s going on in a supportive environment. -Of course, and I think – I mean, in all truth, that’s what I do a lot. We talk a lot in the therapy world about our offices being like a safe holding environment, Where it’s like all the nitty-gritty, icky, “I’m embarrassed” things can come out and play and it’s okay And we can talk about it, and then you can leave it there, and then you can come back next week, and it’s okay. -So it sounds like very much the same.
-Yeah. -Do you specialize – So sex therapy, okay, so a different thing – Do you know a little bit about how that plays out, or what that would look like? -Very similar, right? But I think that looks more like your profession, with the sex piece added in. Which a lot of therapists don’t have, and I wish that they would. When someone comes to me, the difference is that I’m more in an educational role, Here, I can actually explain it for you. So there’s a model called the Plissit Model, P-L-I-S-S-I-T -I’ve done a video on it, which you can link to.
-In the description. -Essentially, how it works is that you have four tiers of treatment, And the first one is permission. So the permission to be who you are, permission to masturbate, Permission to do more research. Most people actually resolve their sexual health issue with just permission, especially from an expert in the field. And then from there you have the tier limited information, And that’s where I might give a book resource or a statistic or something, Maybe even a title of their sexual orientation, like, just understanding that there is a word, Asexuality and having an identity that matches that. And then from there you have an even smaller group, which is specific suggestions. So then I might teach techniques, even more book references, or, you know. Specific suggestions. And then the very, very last tier is out of my realm. That would be the intensive therapy, where I would refer out to someone like you for family of origin, et cetera. If you start with 100 people and you go down these tiers, really, A clinical sexologist can take care of those first three, and about 85% of the population. -And then for that last core group…
-Yeah, like if they had some… -Complex PTSD in their childhood, or something going on… interesting. -And so that’s actually where a sex therapist would probably come in, Somebody who has great training in both fields. -Wow, so that’s really fascinating, I had no idea all the differences and how that goes into it. So if someone, like myself or one of my viewers, is interested in that, or thinks that that might be something that they need, -How do they know that?
-Okay, so… -I relate sexology to dentistry, and I think that it would be really great if people had a sexologist That they went and did a “regular teeth cleaning” with, or got a check-up. And so, ideally, everyone would have a clinical sexologist or a sex therapist, Or a therapist who can talk about sexual issues, and I think it’s really really important to contact someone When your behaviors are changing, in order to accommodate something that you’re struggling with. Like, if you’re avoiding sex, for example, or you’re having lots of sex because you’re avoiding something else. And then to find a clinical sexologist or a sex therapist, In America at least, there’s the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, called ASECT -We’ll put the link in the description.
-Yeah. -That’s really cool.
-And so you can search by your location -And it will pull up a list of all the people. And Patti Britton has a really awesome book on the art of sex coaching If you’re interested in how to kind of get involved in being a sex professional. -Yeah, interesting. It’s so fascinating to learn about other types of mental health professionals And there’s something for everybody, I think that’s kind of the message that I wanna get across, is that If something in your life is bothering you, if something is holding you back, You feel like you’re doing something more or less as a way to compensate for something – I talk about coping skills, like using self-injury, using eating disorders, and sex can be used the same As kind of like a way to punish yourself, harm yourself and things like that Like, restricting it could be punishing to you as well. And so I think it’s really important to take time – that’s why I always recommend journaling and things like that To take time to kind of go inside and figure out what’s going on, and where is this coming from, And what’s the root of it. And that’s why you see people like Lindsey and myself. -Aww.
-I know. -So we did a video on her channel, it’s wonderful, click over here to check it out, I’ll put the link in the description And hop over there and subscribe, her channel’s amazing. It’s another wonderful way to get educated about a whole other realm of mental health and sex health. -Thanks Kati!
-Yeah! Thanks for coming all the way to LA. We’ll see you next time!

77 Replies to “What is SEX THERAPY? mental health advice with Therapist Kati Morton & Sexologist Dr. Doe”

  1. Hey Kati, do you have any advice on loosing someone to suicide? I lost one of my teachers Friday and I'm taking it quite hard.. I have another teacher that I'm very close with and that I talk too, but I don't wanna burden her.. my psychologist is gone on Christmas vacation and my parents don't wanna hear anything of the situation… thanks.

    xox

  2. #KatiFAQ
    I've been trying to start journaling but I feel like I never know what exactly to write or that what I am writing is stupid. Any tips? I recently read Hannah Hart's book, Buffering, & she has said multiple times that journaling is something that she does daily.
    I truly think it would be beneficial to me but I'm stuck 😞

  3. Nice colab. Thank you both. I didn't see The PLISSIT Model https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBleG8SU0NI link among the other referenced links.

  4. Also blown away by the idea of people having a sexologist/therapist like people have family doctors or dentists. I think everyone could use some variety of therapist for a least most seasons of their lives. Good to hear this being normalized.

  5. Oh wow I didn't even know that this sort of therapy exist! Thanks for educating me, enjoyed watching this a lot. I love when you have guests on your channel, Kati ☺️

  6. I gasped when I saw both videos from you wonderful ladies in my subscriptions. I didn't know this was a collab I NEEDED until It happened haha. Thank you!

  7. Im studying Occupational therapy and we have many seminars on Sex and Sexualityy PLISSIT model !! im glad that internationally ( i am AUS) and interdisciplinary have ways to discuss this topic !

  8. So for a someone who has experienced sexual trauma, is a sexology the best possible for treatment?
    I am diagnosed with PTSD due to sexual abuse and it can be difficult to with at times. I go to group therapy, but it seems awkward and innapropriate to speak about in front of others…

  9. I've considered going through the a Sexology degree in my future. I'm almost done with my Art Therapy/LMFT master's program. I think it would be really awesome and interesting to combine Sex Therapy with Art Therapy. 🙂

  10. I might want something like that. I have a fetish that is completely harmless but not widely accepted. Hate myself for it. Hm.

  11. Hi Kati, you mentioned making a video on the different mental health professionals and I just want to say I would love to see that. I hope you make it, it's a great video idea

  12. You're both such lovely educators AND talk about/ spread awareness of things that are "taboo" which shouldn't be. Love both of your channels.

  13. I am going into my masters now for clincal counseling psychology. I want to study to be a sex therapist, it is an area I would be good at but I was told that its harder to get insurance to back up a sex therapist…is this true?

  14. A friend of mine believes her therapist is trapping her. It's a family therapist so she'll talk one on one with my friend or with her and her parents. My friend truly believes she no longer needs to see this therapist every week(she's 19 and I've known her for almost 10 years and agree she's truly happy on her own now) but the therapist has told her parents to make her keep going. Her parents have now told her if she stops going she'll be kicked out. The therapist now even tries to convince her that she's not really happy and tries to make her doubt everything she does.

  15. i thought this was interesting kati. I am home from the hospital they were not gonna let me home due to my intermittent explosive disorder and violence towards my sister but she seemed to be able to control it they heightened my meds in a hope to help keep me out of the hospital. but the ied is bad . it is slipping again i am having trouble with my meds and these are signs that i am going backward and the rages are more violent and last longer how can my sister help keep me out of the hospital help coz it is a struggle due to how severe it can become and is getting help kati.

  16. Yay Dr. Doe is amazing! If you do a video about the different kinds of therapists it would be so wonderful if you included the creative arts therapies! I'm an art therapist and I'd love to see some inclusion about other modes of therapy in that video! Thanks Kati!

  17. ive been talking to my therapist about my promiscuity, and i didnt even know that sex therapists exist. thats so interesting.

  18. Ahhh I was hoping you two would collab at some point!! You both do such wonderful work; happy to see your powers combined!

  19. I enjoy how much Kati's gestures, and the level of attention she gives when asking a question just says, "therapist".
    ha ha

  20. Thank you for this video Kati and Lindsay! I requested this on your Twitter account a few months back, so I'm so happy you guys were able to collab!!!! I'm an aspiring sex therapist so this is so exciting for me!

  21. The top tier in graphic detail is not going to happen. I would manipulated and stressed, to no good end or solution. Just me. Love your work though. You are awesome.

  22. do you have to have a highschool degree to become a sexologist? or is it like becoming a beautician where you just need to go to a beauty school and get the degree

  23. How come there are not more youtube channels that deal with this subject? I am desperate to find a sex therapist to help with my identity of being gay, and trying to find myself, which is so much harder when you are isolated.

  24. So, after watching several times I am still left wondering what the difference is between a sexologist and therapist. Sexologist addresses a general assessment based on first 3 tiers of PLASSIT and therapist does intensive therapy? How, then, are LMFT's professionally trained and accredited to treat psychological issues that can be devastatingly serious relating to sexual issues; particularly the issue of child sexual abuse, parental borderline personality disorders, attachment-based alienation, etc. of which many adult sexual issues stem from?

    Dr. Lindsey noted a "piece" of continuing education regarding sexuality but is this enough to deal with such an important issue?

  25. I was cold towards my wife for a long time. She was losing interest in me and in sex. Now i am using Prolargentsize now and really enjoying life to the full. I will continue ordering it on Prolargentsize

  26. This has to easily be my favorite YouTube video. A collaboration with my two favorite YouTubers talking about two things that are not talked about enough! I was fortunate enough to meet Dr. Lindsey Doe last November not long before this video was filmed and hope I get to meet you in person sometime too, Kati! This video collaboration is just awesome!

  27. I am 35 no experience with relation or sex. The sex is not the problem it is the lack of relationship skills.Then there is finding a partner (woman for me). I have M.D.D O.C.D and various phobias with a modified form of Tricktilamnia. I think these issues are a matter of enviroment (state or country) I am screwed.

  28. Thank you guys for having the bravery to be femme bodied persons discussing these topics on social media. I needed this information to be able to discuss this and ask for this in therapy wothout feeling terrified/ashamed. There are tears in my eyes thank you so much for the healing your energy spreads.

  29. is sex is forbidden for person with mental illness?why?taken med for 3years stop and not taken med more than 2years.

  30. Katie is so cute (-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥

  31. I can't watch this my head's burning and feels weird and very overwhelming. Watching anyways, it's probably not a difficult video anyways

    Ok it was really extremely nice and comforting, still feels feel really close to being completely horrible.
    It's too much now things are too silent it's just too much again

  32. One of the least invasive and comfortable ways of exploring sex therapy is over the phone, Why not give it a shot with expert Therapist at The Susan Block Institute. Give us a call at 1-2l3-29l-9497. Can't wait to meet you!

  33. My husband abused me for five years by taking advantage of my body parts anytime he wanted even though I told him no. Seven weeks ago I asked for a divorce. I was THRILLED at the thought at being single…but he said he would change and begged me to stay. It’s been seven weeks and he has been very respectful and has done some great changing…but my heart and my body and my brain are NOT sexually attracted to him. I have told him this but he said I just need time. Because I am still married to him and chose to stay even when I didn’t want too, he has told me that a marriage requirement is to have sex. The thought of having to have sex gives me so much anxiety. I literally start shaking and crying knowing it might happen. I feel so bad because he is being nice now but I don’t want to be intimate with him at all. I’m going to the doc tomorrow to see if I can get a stronger anxiety pill so I can handle having sex. I’m miserable. How do I change that in my universe? How do I make my body like sex? I could live without it for the rest of my life but there is a sex requirement in marriage. Please help.

  34. Hi Kati, again you're not counseling me but your videos are giving me courage to reach out to my care network with specific topics. This is a hard one for me, but necessary. Thanks for your work! These videos you make are making a difference.

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